It's Saturday morning, the best morning
of the week ("Saturday night is the loneliest night of the
week," sings Frank Sinatra). Saturday afternoon has its
qualities, too, and is fast approaching. I've really mellowed out
lately, the past few days, or whatever—not in life, I don't think.
I felt much better, but then came along Friday—my most feared and
hated day of the week. I know I should just get over this—but—it's
not just me. It's society. It's me. It's society. It's me. It's these
damn lobsters. Thank god for the obsession with old movies, here on
the west side, the Hollywood neighborhood. Breakfast here at The
Casablanca Burger Counter is a nostalgic ride into the illustrious
film history past—Jimmy Stewart's here, and he's fielding questions
and settling arguments. "Here you go—NO TOAST." The
waitress, old Norma Desmond, brings my breakfast—two eggs,
potatoes, and no toast. I always have to specify "no toast"
because of my wheat abstinence—it's interesting—a negative order
(it certainly brings to mind the scene in Five Easy Pieces where Jack
Nicholson tries to order toast by ordering a chicken salad sandwich:
"hold the lettuce, hold the mayo, hold the chicken salad."
It's gotten so they call me "No-Toast," one word, like it's
my name. It's not the first time I've been named after food. When I
used to frequent Kline's Market back in old Kent, Ohio, Mr. Kline
would call me Cole Slaw ("How ya doin' Cole Slaw?") because
for awhile I came in every day to the deli and ordered their
excellent cole slaw. I guess I'm lucky he didn't call me "40
ounce Colt 45!"
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